The Iron Fist Blog, Part 1: Episodes 1-12

So why am I only doing eppys 1-12? Because I am so burned out, I cannot bring myself to watch eppy 13. I just can't. It's too much. Iron Fist is like the psychic version of an extremely smelly fart with lots of particles, and my brain underwear can't take any more. I will do a Part 2 of this blog if I ever can.

SPOILER SPOILER FUCKING SPOILER FUCKING FUCKING SPOILER SPOILER WARNING

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So let's talk about Iron Fist.

Or not. We could eat brownies, or something else that's actually pleasant.

OK, fine. Here it is:

The Good:

1. The fight scenes are choreographed well.

2. The acting ain't bad.

3. Ward Meacham's character arc. As in, he actually has one.

The Bad:

1. The ineffable blandness of Danny Rand. A friend of mine described him as a "mansplaining fortune cookie with an extra side of privilege." Yup. That about covers it.

2. The pacing. Everything but the fight scenes go so . . . . . . . . goddam . . . . . . . . . slow . . . . . . .

The Ugly:

1. What they did to Colleen Wing. Oh look! An interesting character! Oh, wait, Danny easily beats her at fighting . . . Oh, wait, he's always in her space . . . Oh, wait, now she's sleeping with him . . . Way to turn someone interesting into yet another Single Asian Chick Seeking Shitty White Guy. But it doesn't end there! Oh, wait, now she's secretly a member of the Hand?!?!?!

The Point:

This show was a damn slog. I had to spend the entire time I watched it multi-tasking so I wouldn't get bored and do something else. I can't believe I said I would blog about it. I would have quit long before if not for that.

Please, save yourself. Watch something else. Or, maybe, get a genital piercing! That's definitely less painful.